If Only
"A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”
But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days. Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.” John 11:1-7
"When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem, and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”
Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.”
“Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”
Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?”
“Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” So Mary immediately went to him.
Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them.
They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”
Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.
But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”
Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!” John 11: 17-44
"Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died." were the words spoken by Martha to Jesus in verse 21. Martha knew the power Jesus had. She believed Jesus could heal Lazarus and she saw him heal many before. She had faith that He could do it. But time passed and she didn't get an answer to her request. He didn't come and now, Lazarus, her brother is dead. If you, Jesus, had only been here then Lazarus would still be alive. The words that came out of Martha's mouth soaked with emotion that I can only imagine.
We get the fast-forward version of the story. The version where we already know the ending. We already know that Jesus comes to the rescue. But sometimes in our lives we have to wait until the other side of heaven to know how Jesus comes to our rescue. In our own lives, we wait for Jesus to come to our rescue. We wait in our grief, in our pain, in our broken dreams with prayers unanswered. In this story, we see Martha and Mary's raw emotion in waiting for Jesus and dealing with their brother's death. When Jesus comes they then stand in front of Jesus and say, "Lord, If only..." I know if I stood in front of Jesus with my hope crushed it would take all that was in me to say "Lord, If only..." Jesus' response didn't discount or get mad for her state of emotion and vulnerability. In fact He tried to explain. 'This is not the end. God's not finished yet. The resurrection is not going to need to wait until the last days. Do you believe me, Martha?' Do YOU believe?
When Jesus comes they then stand in front of Jesus and say, "Lord, If only..."
More tears fall as Mary and the mourners come. Grief on top of grief. Grief that it is almost too hard to stay upright. Mary falls at the feet of Jesus. Now at the feet of my Jesus, words escape from her lips, "Lord, if...." And here nestled in a section of scripture is the humanity of Christ. Jesus wept. He saw them grieve and had empathy. He didn't just feel sadness for them. He felt sadness with them. He shared in their grief. He knew the happily ever after ending. He knew that Lazarus would not be dead, but Jesus still had a moment of grief with Martha and Mary. Jesus stayed for a time in sorrow and sadness with them.
Here in the middle of our sorrow and sadness. Here in the middle of our brittle faith. Here in the middle of our worse case scenario. Where we stand face to face with Jesus and ask, "Lord, if.....Lord, if only....if only you could have..." Where it is almost too hard to keep our bodies upright. Here Jesus doesn't get upset at us or mad at us. He doesn't get offended. He doesn't leave us for our questioning. He meets us in our sorrow. He feels the sadness with us. He weeps.
He meets us in our sorrow. He feels the sadness with us. He weeps.
In the moment of your waiting. While we are sitting and hoping for the time to fast-forward some. Know that Jesus is sitting face to face with you. Weeping with you.
